top of page

When Help Stops Feeling Helpful

Updated: Jan 5

DEAR SCIENTISTS | LETTER 1 OF 1

DEAR DEAR SCIENTISTS: Dear Scientists, I’m a PhD student, and I’ve noticed that one of my lab mates consistently takes over my experiments. They first offer just “to help” but then end up trying to do most of the work themselves, and then get recognized by our PI. I’ve tried stepping back to let them take the lead on certain things, so I don’t rock the boat and seem difficult to work with but it keeps happening. I don’t want to create tension, but it’s frustrating. I’m starting to feel invisible with my own project. What should I do? — OVERSHADOWED IN THE LAB


DEAR BULLIED AT THE BENCH: Dear Overshadowed in the Lab, It’s understandable to feel frustrated - your contributions matter - especially on your won project. Start by clearly defining your responsibilities and roles on the project with both your lab mate and your PI. You could politely say something like, “I really appreciate your help, but I’d like to take the lead on this part so I can learn and contribute fully.” It’s also helpful to document your work and share updates regularly with your PI. This ensures your contributions are visible without having to compete or create unnecessary tension. Remember, asserting your role professionally shows confidence, not conflict. — DEAR SCIENTISTS


Need a bit of advice? Share your question here.

DISCLAIMER: The advice provided is for general informational purposes and represents the columnist’s opinion. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental-health care. For serious issues, including abuse, legal matters, mental health concerns, or emergencies, please consult a qualified professional or local services. This column, its author and the Dear Scientists blog website are not responsible for the outcomes or results of following any advice in any given situation.


Comments


Dear Scientist! is a community platform dedicated to sharing the human side of science. Through shared experiences, thoughtful insights, and a touch of humor, it fosters connection, supports mental well-being, and reminds us that science is shaped by people.

Useful links
Follow Us
  • LinkedIn

©2025 Dear Scientists!  | All rights reserved

bottom of page