Feeling Small in a Big Lab

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DEAR SCIENTISTS | LETTER 1 OF 1

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DEAR DEAR SCIENTISTS: I’m a grad student in a large lab, and lately, I’ve been dreading going to work. One of the senior grad students constantly belittles me - criticizing my approaches during lab meetings, sometimes implying that I might not understand my project, and even hinting to my PI that my project may be too advanced for me. I’ve tried to be friendly, hoping to spark meaningful discussion so they might see that they have me all wrong, but they either dismiss me or ignore me. At times, it feels like they belittle me simply to make themselves look more knowledgeable.

So now, I keep my distance and focus on my work, but the tension keeps growing. I don’t want to be seen as “overly sensitive,” but it’s affecting my confidence and productivity. Our PI tends to avoid conflict, and I’m worried that speaking up might backfire or label me as “difficult. How do I handle this without damaging my reputation or burning bridges in such a hierarchical research community? — BULLIED AT THE BENCH

DEAR BULLIED AT THE BENCH: I’m sorry you’re experiencing this - no one should feel belittled in their own lab. The behavior you describe is not just unprofessional, it’s affecting your confidence and work, which matters.

The most direct approach is often the best. Arrange a private conversation with the graduate student and calmly explain how their comments and actions are affecting you. Focus on how their behavior makes you feel, and make it clear that while you value feedback, offering it in a professional and supportive way will always be better received.

The most direct approach is often the most efficient. Arrange a private conversation with the graduate student and calmly explain that, while you value feedback, comments and discussion in a professional manner- careful listening and open-minded discussion- can really make a difference for any research project and enrich their mentoring experiences.

If the behavior continues, document specific instances and remind the senior grad student that what they are going is not professional or acceptable for maintain healthy lab environment. Also consider discussing the situation with your PI or a trusted mentor. Meanwhile, try to find support from an entrusted mentor or institutional consultants. Do not become isolated. Remember, standing up for yourself professionally is not “being difficult”; it’s setting boundaries and protecting your growth as a scientist. Equally important, it sharpens your conflict-resolving skills, which are much needed for your career. — DEAR SCIENTISTS

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